Oooh! Ya got wunna them? Lucky bugger, you are!
Lorna’s been goin’ on and on and on and on about ‘ow we should buy wunna those. But that means I ‘afta interact more with th’gnomes, and that means I ‘afta tell ‘em once again that… no, they won’t turn inta some kinda mini-worgen (or “gnomegen”) if I bite ‘em. Where they all got this idea from is beyond me… but y’know gnomes, once one of ‘em ‘ave an idea, they ALL ‘ave the same bloody idea. Even if it’s an erroneous one.
Wunna these days I’ll get them ta accept that a gnomegen is a thing that can’t ‘appen, and then I might actually be able ta visit gnomish shops again. That’d be nice. Maybe if I just bit wunna them a bit too ‘ard—eh? Yeh, yer right Lorna. I could nevah do such a thing, still.. caffartic thought, innit?
Right then. Sightseein’ y’said?
Hrmmn.
Th’problem is I guess that we don’t ‘ave much of a tourism industry. When s’not rainin’ in Gilneas, s’rainin’. Which is ta say that it’s almost always rainin’ in Gilneans. Still, Barky’n I got our ‘eads togetha and we figgered out a few places which might ‘ave aesfetic worth.
So… bit of a traveller’s warnin’, there are still some undead minglin’ about, so ya wants ta be careful as ya wander, but if ya don’t get too closeta Gilneas then yer goin’ ta be fine.
Right.
The most interestin’ thing yer likely goin’ ta see issa very specific tree in th’middlea the Blackwald. Tal… somefin’ th’elves called it. S’got a lotta recent ‘istorical significance to it. S’where us worgen found our wits again, through th’ritual of balance. Wunna them elves also told me it ‘ad a counterpart in th’Emerald Dream. S’a very peaceful place, it is, and th’undead tend ta avoid it. Nature’s strong there.
Anotha place that’s likely goin’ ta be safe is near where th’Alliance ships pulled up in th’North, near th’wall. There’s an unnatural but oddly pretty in its own way croppin’ of rocks which we’ve taken ta callin’ “The Bite.” S’called that because if ya ‘appen ta sail inta Gilneas without the aid of th’nearby light’ouse, then s’gonna take a bite out of yer boat!
Now, th’next thing yer likely goin’ ta want ta see is East of th’bite along the Gilnean wall, but be warned - there’re undead fortifications there that we ‘aven’t be able ta fully clean out, yet. So’s I definitely ‘as to advise that you bring some muscle with ya on this trip, or use some magicks ta slip past. Once ya make it far enough east, yer goin’ ta see what’s left of our dam. It’s left quite the waterfall in its place. I figgered it’s worth a look.
Finally, our graveyard. A solemn place I’d recommend endin’ th’trip at outta remembrance for all th’men’n women that fell in that sordid bloody battle, includin’ th’son of Genn ‘imself. Don’t talk about that, not one ta pour salt in th’wound. But I suspect that if yer goin’ ta travel through Gilneas, yer goin’ ta want ta pay yer respects. It’s a bit macabre, but I could ‘ardly recommend a trip without a stop off there.
Ta get there yer goin’ ta be travellin’ far to the south-west from th’dam. When ya get to a fallen bridge, yer near. Keep in mind that yer goin’ ta find undead resistance along th’way again, the silly buggers still ‘ave encampments along th’roads. Strange as it is though, they seem ta be avoidin’ Aderic’s Repose, th’graveyard… odd. Per’aps th’spirit of Liam is keepin’ ‘em at bay.
So there ya ‘ave it. Like I warned ya at the beginnin’, we nevah really ‘ad any kinda tourism ‘ere, we’ve been a fairly pragmatic people, so mosta what art we ‘ad was inside Gilneas. But I’ve given ya what I can. I ‘ope it’s a nice trip! But like I said, be wary, eh? S’not quite safe, there.

Oooh! Ya got wunna them? Lucky bugger, you are!

Lorna’s been goin’ on and on and on and on about ‘ow we should buy wunna those. But that means I ‘afta interact more with th’gnomes, and that means I ‘afta tell ‘em once again that… no, they won’t turn inta some kinda mini-worgen (or “gnomegen”) if I bite ‘em. Where they all got this idea from is beyond me… but y’know gnomes, once one of ‘em ‘ave an idea, they ALL ‘ave the same bloody idea. Even if it’s an erroneous one.

Wunna these days I’ll get them ta accept that a gnomegen is a thing that can’t ‘appen, and then I might actually be able ta visit gnomish shops again. That’d be nice. Maybe if I just bit wunna them a bit too ‘ard—eh? Yeh, yer right Lorna. I could nevah do such a thing, still.. caffartic thought, innit?

Right then. Sightseein’ y’said?

Hrmmn.

Th’problem is I guess that we don’t ‘ave much of a tourism industry. When s’not rainin’ in Gilneas, s’rainin’. Which is ta say that it’s almost always rainin’ in Gilneans. Still, Barky’n I got our ‘eads togetha and we figgered out a few places which might ‘ave aesfetic worth.

So… bit of a traveller’s warnin’, there are still some undead minglin’ about, so ya wants ta be careful as ya wander, but if ya don’t get too closeta Gilneas then yer goin’ ta be fine.

Right.

The most interestin’ thing yer likely goin’ ta see issa very specific tree in th’middlea the Blackwald. Tal… somefin’ th’elves called it. S’got a lotta recent ‘istorical significance to it. S’where us worgen found our wits again, through th’ritual of balance. Wunna them elves also told me it ‘ad a counterpart in th’Emerald Dream. S’a very peaceful place, it is, and th’undead tend ta avoid it. Nature’s strong there.

Anotha place that’s likely goin’ ta be safe is near where th’Alliance ships pulled up in th’North, near th’wall. There’s an unnatural but oddly pretty in its own way croppin’ of rocks which we’ve taken ta callin’ “The Bite.” S’called that because if ya ‘appen ta sail inta Gilneas without the aid of th’nearby light’ouse, then s’gonna take a bite out of yer boat!

Now, th’next thing yer likely goin’ ta want ta see is East of th’bite along the Gilnean wall, but be warned - there’re undead fortifications there that we ‘aven’t be able ta fully clean out, yet. So’s I definitely ‘as to advise that you bring some muscle with ya on this trip, or use some magicks ta slip past. Once ya make it far enough east, yer goin’ ta see what’s left of our dam. It’s left quite the waterfall in its place. I figgered it’s worth a look.

Finally, our graveyard. A solemn place I’d recommend endin’ th’trip at outta remembrance for all th’men’n women that fell in that sordid bloody battle, includin’ th’son of Genn ‘imself. Don’t talk about that, not one ta pour salt in th’wound. But I suspect that if yer goin’ ta travel through Gilneas, yer goin’ ta want ta pay yer respects. It’s a bit macabre, but I could ‘ardly recommend a trip without a stop off there.

Ta get there yer goin’ ta be travellin’ far to the south-west from th’dam. When ya get to a fallen bridge, yer near. Keep in mind that yer goin’ ta find undead resistance along th’way again, the silly buggers still ‘ave encampments along th’roads. Strange as it is though, they seem ta be avoidin’ Aderic’s Repose, th’graveyard… odd. Per’aps th’spirit of Liam is keepin’ ‘em at bay.

So there ya ‘ave it. Like I warned ya at the beginnin’, we nevah really ‘ad any kinda tourism ‘ere, we’ve been a fairly pragmatic people, so mosta what art we ‘ad was inside Gilneas. But I’ve given ya what I can. I ‘ope it’s a nice trip! But like I said, be wary, eh? S’not quite safe, there.

Juices & berries, chum. Juices & berries.

Juices & berries, chum. Juices & berries.

Elves know ‘ow ta build trees.

Oh, yeh… while I were at the supertree, I over’eard a Stormwindian complainin’ about ‘ow Garrosh ‘ad apparently bombed the tree. So I ‘ad a bit of a look around. Didn’t look too bombed ta me!

I suppose if ya have an invincible tree that can shrug off bombs, bombin’ isn’t goin’ ta do much good. If ya ask me, that just says that Garrosh needs ta slap ‘is strategists upside th’ead. But then, I met this orc peon once, and I can’t says that th’conversation was very… stimulatin’.

So Garrosh ‘as my pity, I guess? So ‘ard ta find good ‘elp these days, eh Garrosh? I’m ‘arf wonderin’ now if there’s goin’ta be a second bombin’ run, ta see if th’results are diff’rent th’second time around. I’m not’n egg’ead meself but even a Crowley knows that only a fool runs th’same tests expectin’ diff’rent results!

So, watch out, elves!

Yep. I can see that. Garrosh really needs better ‘elp. Maybe ‘e needs wunna them undeadfolk as a strategist, they seem ta know what they’re doin’, much to our chagrin. Maybe then they’ll get a smart idea lilike a—eh, wossat Lorna? Oh, yeh, right. Shouldn’t give ‘em ideas.

So ‘oo ‘ad the bright idea…

I thought it’d be a good idea ta go visit Barky over in th’big elf supertree. Got ta Ruter… Routh… Roofar… th’port town an’ I was ‘it by a waterfall of rainbows. So ‘pparently th’elven kids were given a buncha [Rainbow Generator]s and their new ‘obby was “urinatin’” rainbows offa Telldrus… Tell… the elven supertree.

I ‘eard that it all started with a way ta protect th’lands from imps, and now th’bloody things’re everywhere. Can’t take a saunter down ta Old Town without ‘avin’ a rainbow land on yer ‘ead.

PROTIP: Worgens aren’t imps!

I may ‘afta bite th’next person ‘oo does that. …but even sayin’ that I worry I might be encouragin’ th’gnomes ta do it. Sigh. Some days ya just can’t win.

…hrr?
I ‘onestly ‘ave no idea!
Hrrmn…
'EY LORNA, AM I ADORABLE?
WOT?
YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?
S’TA DO WITH…
REALLY, PEOPLE LIKE THAT?
…
RIGHT Y’ARE, THEN.
Well then!
I ‘ave absolutely no idea wot to say to that.
I guess thanks would be most apt, though, eh chum?

…hrr?

I ‘onestly ‘ave no idea!

Hrrmn…

'EY LORNA, AM I ADORABLE?

WOT?

YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?

S’TA DO WITH…

REALLY, PEOPLE LIKE THAT?

RIGHT Y’ARE, THEN.

Well then!

I ‘ave absolutely no idea wot to say to that.

I guess thanks would be most apt, though, eh chum?

That’d be lovely!
I can’t says as I’m much the ‘untin’ type though, me. That’s more Tobias’ thing, so I leave that to ‘im. I think if I were ta start ‘untin’ then ‘e’d feel a little threatened by it, so we each do what we’re good at and not step on each others toes, yeh?
What I can deffo tell ya though is that the Crowleys know ‘ow to make the best bloody pancakes you’ve evah ‘ad. Though I’m not sure if ya eat ‘em, still, it’d prob’ly be a bit of a culinary adventure, eh? Unless o’course ya ‘ave some sort of allergic reaction ta pancakes… but we ‘ave other foods about in that case. I’d love to share some crumpets with ya.
I admit, I ‘ave picked up a taste fer meat since the change, but I ‘aven’t forgotten me cultural ‘eritage, and I s’pose there are some foods ya still like even aftah ‘avin’ become a worgen, and fer me? S’pancakes. And crumpets. Also toast. I do like a bit of toast, me… sometimes with runny eggs and some soldiers (sliced toast) ta dip in it. S’great!
So certainly. I’ll arrange somethin’. Look out fer a carrier pigeon! You ‘aven’t ‘ad a pancake until you’ve ‘ad a Crowley pancake!

That’d be lovely!

I can’t says as I’m much the ‘untin’ type though, me. That’s more Tobias’ thing, so I leave that to ‘im. I think if I were ta start ‘untin’ then ‘e’d feel a little threatened by it, so we each do what we’re good at and not step on each others toes, yeh?

What I can deffo tell ya though is that the Crowleys know ‘ow to make the best bloody pancakes you’ve evah ‘ad. Though I’m not sure if ya eat ‘em, still, it’d prob’ly be a bit of a culinary adventure, eh? Unless o’course ya ‘ave some sort of allergic reaction ta pancakes… but we ‘ave other foods about in that case. I’d love to share some crumpets with ya.

I admit, I ‘ave picked up a taste fer meat since the change, but I ‘aven’t forgotten me cultural ‘eritage, and I s’pose there are some foods ya still like even aftah ‘avin’ become a worgen, and fer me? S’pancakes. And crumpets. Also toast. I do like a bit of toast, me… sometimes with runny eggs and some soldiers (sliced toast) ta dip in it. S’great!

So certainly. I’ll arrange somethin’. Look out fer a carrier pigeon! You ‘aven’t ‘ad a pancake until you’ve ‘ad a Crowley pancake!

Per’aps you are right. Still… I don’t like lettin’ me ‘ead get too big. I were trusted by those that followed me for not bein’ too different than they. I suppose any of ‘em might ‘ave been able to take on this role, but not many of ‘em ‘ave someone like Lorna ‘elpin’ out. I’m a lucky worgen.
Still, I represent the ‘ave-nots of Gilnean society, not those prissy, tea-sippin’, pontificatin’, cravat-sportin’, decadent toffs that Genn calls ‘is ‘erd. (An ‘erd of werewolves. Ha!) So yeh, I ‘ave to keep up appearances, and right you are in thinkin’ that bein’ a bit scruffy and usual is th’way ta do that, chum.
Sure, I s’pose I could do wot Genn does, but… then I’d lose th’respect of those ‘oo ‘ave put so much faith in me. And as Genn would most certainly say - s’just not cricket! (I’m still not sure what ‘cricket’ is though, but I ‘eard it’s some toff game that ‘im and wossisfrey useta play before… well, you know.)
So… ‘ere I am. I gets the job done. Nuffin more, nuffin less.

Per’aps you are right. Still… I don’t like lettin’ me ‘ead get too big. I were trusted by those that followed me for not bein’ too different than they. I suppose any of ‘em might ‘ave been able to take on this role, but not many of ‘em ‘ave someone like Lorna ‘elpin’ out. I’m a lucky worgen.

Still, I represent the ‘ave-nots of Gilnean society, not those prissy, tea-sippin’, pontificatin’, cravat-sportin’, decadent toffs that Genn calls ‘is ‘erd. (An ‘erd of werewolves. Ha!) So yeh, I ‘ave to keep up appearances, and right you are in thinkin’ that bein’ a bit scruffy and usual is th’way ta do that, chum.

Sure, I s’pose I could do wot Genn does, but… then I’d lose th’respect of those ‘oo ‘ave put so much faith in me. And as Genn would most certainly say - s’just not cricket! (I’m still not sure what ‘cricket’ is though, but I ‘eard it’s some toff game that ‘im and wossisfrey useta play before… well, you know.)

So… ‘ere I am. I gets the job done. Nuffin more, nuffin less.

Well, things ‘ave finally settled down over ‘ere.

Barky dropped off those eggs a bit ago, and now the kids’re sleepin’ it off. Quite why they’d be comin’ around ‘ere expectin’ ‘idden chocolates is beyond me—Lorna ‘as more of a savoury tooth an’ I ‘ave an inklin’ that it might do me ‘arm—but that’s youf logic for ya.

Still couldn’t trick the silly bugger inta tellin’ me ‘is name, though. Grrmpf. I’ll get ya next time, Barky. Next time.

Nice bitta prose there, chum. Very nicely done.
Not sure ‘ow it relates to me, though. Lessee… hrmn. Swift? Well, Lorna often tells me that I’m slow as molasses, though I’m not sure if she’s talkin’ about me critical capacities or me in’erent laziness. I can’t says that I’m too forceful either, except when the need calls for it.
Strong? Well, I might say that I am, but I think that Lorna’s earned that more’n me. I ‘ave still yet to kill anyone with an ‘airpin. And mysterious? Not at all! I’m an open book, me. Everyone knows all there is ta know about ol’ Crowley.
Can’t says that I’m as impressive as yer poem, then. But thanks fer sharin’ it. Nope, the Crowleys are as common as dirt, nuffin separatin’ us from any other Gilnean out there. Though I’d bet Genn’d love ‘avin’ ‘is ego waxed like that. So y’may want ta go and show ‘im this. Five’d get ya ten ‘e’d claim to be all of those things, but that’s nobility for ya!

Nice bitta prose there, chum. Very nicely done.

Not sure ‘ow it relates to me, though. Lessee… hrmn. Swift? Well, Lorna often tells me that I’m slow as molasses, though I’m not sure if she’s talkin’ about me critical capacities or me in’erent laziness. I can’t says that I’m too forceful either, except when the need calls for it.

Strong? Well, I might say that I am, but I think that Lorna’s earned that more’n me. I ‘ave still yet to kill anyone with an ‘airpin. And mysterious? Not at all! I’m an open book, me. Everyone knows all there is ta know about ol’ Crowley.

Can’t says that I’m as impressive as yer poem, then. But thanks fer sharin’ it. Nope, the Crowleys are as common as dirt, nuffin separatin’ us from any other Gilnean out there. Though I’d bet Genn’d love ‘avin’ ‘is ego waxed like that. So y’may want ta go and show ‘im this. Five’d get ya ten ‘e’d claim to be all of those things, but that’s nobility for ya!

barkentin:

ask-mistercrowley:

barkentin:

ask-mistercrowley:

Well… s’yer name, innit? Barky! Why would I be callin’ ya anythin’ else? Or Per’aps you’d prefer Sir Erasmus Q. Barkentin the Third, Esq, eh?

But… that’s not even my first name!

It is now!

Did y’forget that I ‘ave the legal power ta make that ‘appen?

‘Sides, I’m sure s’bettah than yer original name, anyway. What was yer prior-name-that-is-now-fiction-and-never-were, out of curiosity?

But if you did that, I’d have to change all my stationary!

Hrrrmn… can’t ‘ave that, can we?

Oh, go on then. You can ‘ave your old name. But for me paperwork, what is it? You’re goin’ ta ‘ave ta tell me wunna these days!

I know ya like bein’ the esoteric, enigmatic worgen known only to all and sundry as Barkentin, but s’drivin’ me crazy! Am I goin’ ta ‘afta hire that nice fellah Tobias ta walk in yer shadow until I find out?